| Author | Message | ||
| Christopher T George
Intermediate Member Username: chrisgeorge Post Number: 1050 Registered: 12-2004 |
The Monkey on the Terra Cotta Patio scrambles for peanuts thrown by an old poet, sits on its purple haunches, gnawing a nut; husks rain onto the red tiles. The poet sits amused in the sun, a blanket on his knees, a carved cane at his side. The scent of gardenia plays in his nostrils. Peonies avalanche the walkway, sun glints in water from a bronze fountain and on an attendant cherub's cheek. Beautiful enough to write about, if he still wrote, if anyone remembers his verse. Once he danced to an organ grinder's calliope, writing pieces that entertained a certain audience in The Times. Poison ivy laces the honeysuckle, but the staff don't seem to care. Expectantly, the monkey scratches, looks sidelong at its companion, whose still hand rests in the crumpled bag. Christopher T. George Editor, Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/ http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/ http://www.actorssceneunseen.com/ripper.asp | ||
| alex stolis
New member Username: alex_stolis Post Number: 12 Registered: 05-2005 |
chris have not seen previous versions so this one looks like it is about finished... could only suggest minor changes and that would not necessarily make this a better piece. thanks for the read regards alex | ||
| Christopher T George
Intermediate Member Username: chrisgeorge Post Number: 1054 Registered: 12-2004 |
Hi Alex Thanks. Glad you liked the poem. Thanks for reading and commenting. Chris Editor, Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/ http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/ http://www.actorssceneunseen.com/ripper.asp | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Intermediate Member Username: kathy Post Number: 1941 Registered: 12-2003 |
Chris, nicely done revision. No further suggestions from me.  K} | ||
| Christopher T George
Intermediate Member Username: chrisgeorge Post Number: 1056 Registered: 12-2004 |
Thanks, Kathy. Chris Editor, Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/ http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/ http://www.actorssceneunseen.com/ripper.asp | ||
| michael julius sottak
Intermediate Member Username: julius Post Number: 1511 Registered: 12-2003 |
like a twist of rod-iron the poet rusts in spring ...enjoyed the wit, Chris, thanks | ||
| Christopher T George
Intermediate Member Username: chrisgeorge Post Number: 1058 Registered: 12-2004 |
Thanks, Julius. Chris Editor, Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/ http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/ http://www.actorssceneunseen.com/ripper.asp | ||
| M
Moderator Username: mjm Post Number: 3040 Registered: 11-1998 |
Except for a stray comma, Chris: "looks sidelong at its companion[,] whose still hand rests in the crumpled bag." it would seem you have sewn this one up tight. Good going! | ||
| Christopher T George
Intermediate Member Username: chrisgeorge Post Number: 1059 Registered: 12-2004 |
Thanks M for pointing out that comma. Glad you like the poem. Chris Editor, Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/ http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/ http://www.actorssceneunseen.com/ripper.asp |
